Poor communication is a huge obstacle in marriage and it is one we never really expect. We marry our best friend, the person we enjoy being with and talking to most of all, but for some reason our communication skills start to go downhill and good conversation is now hard to come by. Why?
If you’re like most couples, once you get married practically every aspect of your life becomes intertwined. This is great, but doesn’t give you much new material to talk about.
For Scott and I, it is really easy to fall into the habit of watching Netflix after our son goes to bed. We’ll watch TV for 2-3 hours then go to sleep and start the day all over again. There have been days where our conversation never got deeper than “How was your day?” “Fine. Yours?” “Fine. Wanna watch Netflix?”
Being a stay-at-home mom gives me to little to talk about other than what cute thing my son did that day and being married to your best friend doesn’t help conversation either. Scott knows all my stories and I’ve heard all his.
So what to do?
This is what we did!
We chose to dedicate one night a week to just conversation. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but making a conscious effort to talk for several hours every week has made us closer. If you and your spouse have fallen into the Netflix rut like us, you should try it!
Don’t know what to talk about?
Here is a great list of conversation starters. It’s from an article that lists 36 questions that are supposed to make you able to fall in love with anyone. We had a lot of fun answering these questions and I guarantee you will learn something new about your spouse.
Need more help? Here’s another list of questions that I’ve compiled for you as well =) Enjoy!
- How would you spend your 100th birthday?
- The electricity goes out for 24 hours, how would you spend your time?
- What is your favorite family tradition?
- If you could change your name, what would you choose?
- If your appearance was altered beyond recognition, how would you prove your identity to me?
- If you were famous for something, what would you want that to be?
- What movie/tv show best portrays the story of your life? Is it a comedy, drama, action, etc.?
- What would you do if there was a world-wide power outage?
- What would you do if someone stole your identity and you couldn’t get it back?
- You’re awake at 3am and can’t get back to sleep. What do you do?
- If you had to restart your life (relationships, education, etc.), where would you start?
- What would your life be like if you said yes to everything?
- What is your favorite super hero? Which one would you want to be?
- If you could be paid to do anything, what would you do?
- If you had to teach something, what would you teach?
- You’re stuck in an elevator for 4 hours. What items do you wish you had?
- If you had to create a blog what would it be about?
- What do you value more, honesty or kindness?
- If money did not exist, how would you spend your days?
- What are three goals you have had for over a year?
- If you knew you had 30 days to live, how would you spend that time?
- What would you do if a fire destroyed your house?
- What would you do if a tornado came toward you while you were driving?
- What would you do if someone broke into your home while you were there?
- What recent news story caught your attention?
- You want to surprise your spouse with sex in an unusual place, where would it be?
- You’re holding a basket for an afternoon picnic in the park. What is in it?
- If you could store up only one hour’s worth of memory in your mind, which hour of our marriage would you want to remember?
- If you could have witnessed any biblical event, which one would you choose?
- If we could just drop what we’re doing and go do something fun, what would it be?
- What is the nicest compliment anyone has given you?
- You’re a photographer. How do you photograph your spouse? What are they wearing?
- What is your earliest memory?
- When making decisions, do you put more trust in facts or in feelings?
- If you could possess any extraordinary talent in one of the arts, what would you choose?
- What 5 things do you like that start with the letter “L”?
- What 5 things do you like that start with the letter “A”?
- What 5 things do you like that start with the letter “S’?
- How would you spend $1,000 extra cash?
- What would you do if you had to live on a mountain without warning?