Friday, April 1, 2016

Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom

I've been a stay-at-home-mom for a little while now. I quit my job to stay with David full time when he was about 5 months old. It was a tough decision, but truthfully it was made for me. We needed to switch daycares and everything close had a waiting list for infants. So I quit my job and stayed with my baby boy.

confessions of a stay at home mom
(today- April 1, 2016)

confessions of a stay at home mom
(back when he was my baby =( July 2014)

I love every minute of our time together. I am truly grateful that I was "forced" to stay home with him. And now, with new baby about to arrive any day the thought of going back to work seems out of the question. Can you imagine the cost of two babies in daycare?! Insane! It just wouldn't be worth it for us financially.

confessions of a stay at home mom
(February 2016)

I know there are parents out there who would trade anything to be in my shoes. Believe me I know how fortunate I am to be able to stay with my babies and I don't want to seem ungrateful at all, but I must be honest-- about 95% of the time I love being a SAHM, but there is still a small part of me that misses working.

There is a small part of me that must confess that sometimes:

  • I don't feel as successful, fulfilled, or accomplished. 
  • I feel like others think I must not be very bright, otherwise I'd have a career.
  • I don't feel respected.
  • I feel frumpy.
  • I feel like no one understands me or why the house isn't always spotless.
  • I feel judged on everything from how I'm dressed to how my son is dressed or how clean my house is.
  • I feel like like people think I'm lazy for not working.
  • I feel like people think I'm on a never ending vacation.
  • I feel selfish for wanting a break.
  • I feel like a boring person.
  • I feel like the only thing interesting I can converse about is what my son did that day.
  • I feel like when people look at me, all they see is a mom.
  • I hate not being able to contribute financially.
  • I feel selfish when buying things for myself.
  • I miss having financial freedom.
  • I hate having to ask for money for the grocery store. 
  • I miss feeling independent.
  • I miss having utilities in my name.
  • I don't feel important.
  • I feel like my opinion doesn't hold as much weight.
  • I don't feel like I am living up to my full potential.
  • I feel like it doesn't matter that I went to college.
  • I feel unqualified for any career. (Job offers used to pour in, but now, I've been out of work for far too long.)
  • I feel like I've let myself go.
  • I am so sick of doing laundry, washing dishes, and cleaning up spills.

All of this is just me. No one does or says anything to make me feel this way. And truthfully, I feel happy a majority of the time. But sometimes, being a stay-at-home-mom gets to me.. I really hope I am not the only one who feels this way..

confessions of a stay at home mom